For Regan, Dated 11/16

[the_trashmouth]

One of the perks of joining Darrow High's Drama Club-- besides maybe finding the only people in Darrow who actually appreciate his Voices-- is that recently, Richie realized they keep one of the backstage doors in the auditorium propped open sometimes. And since he's still living at the Home, and Greta makes them keep the door open, it seems like the perfect place for he and Regan to hang out after school and study, or just hang out.

They're on the second level of the auditorium today, in the back row, and Richie's pulled up the armrest between several seats, half sprawled out with his geometry homework in front of him. He's got a quiz at the end of the week, but he's finding it's really fucking hard to focus lately. Especially since he's realized he's got something he really needs to talk to Regan about.

And for once, it's something he can't figure out how to bring up.

Comments

[negative_feedback]

It feels a little like breaking the rules, but as long as Greta thinks she's studying in a classroom with peers, and not in a barren auditorium with her boyfriend, then she thinks she can get away with it.

She's working on a History assignment, but she occasionally checks in with Richie, because she's probably gonna have the same quiz at the end of next week, and she wants to be as prepared as possible.

Besides, learning about the production of molasses and its importance in Darrow's past is incredibly boring.

Richie is fidgety, though, as they work quietly near each other. She'd half expected this to turn into a giggly makeout session, but he looks like he's too nervous about something. She reaches over and touched his wrist.

"Are you that worried about the quiz?" she asks.

[the_trashmouth]

Shit.

He should know by now that Regan almost always picks up on his bullshit, even when he hasn't said anything. He's been thinking about talking to her ever since that day in the drug store with Eddie, but most of the time there's somebody else around.

Is it weirder if he brings it up here?

Fuck.

"Uh, yeah," Richie says and signs at the same time, "I wasn't really paying attention when they went over this chapter."

It's not really a lie, because he really wasn't paying attention. He flips the book around on the seat so Regan can see it.

[negative_feedback]

She makes a face at the page. "Oh, my class isn't there yet. I think my teacher is a week behind yours." She huffs a laugh and looks it over anyway. It looks pretty basic, in terms of geometry, at least.

"Once I'm done my History stuff, I can try to help?" She's pretty good at math, which is helpful, because she's gonna need a lot of math in her engineering classes in college, probably.

[the_trashmouth]

"Okay, yeah. Thanks," Richie says, and flips the book around, feeling really fucking stupid. He should be able to talk to Regan about this stuff, right? She's probably the coolest person he knows, and they both like each other, so maybe she's been thinking about it too.

And if Eddie can do it, he can too, right?

His heart is beating hard and he thinks he might be a little red, but he's got to ask.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something."

[negative_feedback]

She glances back up from her book when she sees his hands lift again, so she adjusts herself to face him a little better.

"What's up?" she asks.

[the_trashmouth]

"I've been thinking about us," he says, and he figures he should probably just sign the words as fast as he can before he decides it's a bad idea to bring any of this up. His hands still get a little clumsy when he rushes, so he hopes he doesn't have to repeat any of this.

"About us and other stuff. Stuff we do. Or don't do. Like sex stuff."

[negative_feedback]

I've been thinking about us, he says, and for a single, heartstopping moment, Regan thinks she's about to get dumped. She's too much of a freak, he doesn't want to get sucked into another nightmare world where he dies, or he's tired of ASL and wants a girlfriend he can talk to like normal.

This rushes through her head in the span between one sign and the next, and it takes a moment for her brain to catch up.

When she does, she blinks, not sure she understands him right away.

"Sex stuff?" she echoes dumbly, still caught off guard.

[the_trashmouth]

She echoes his words, and that's when Richie thinks he's the one about to get dumped and that this was as bad an idea as he originally thought.

"I was thinking about if we... should be doing that. Sex stuff." he says, and knows his hands are probably shaking a little. It's easy to make jokes about Eddie's mom and all that other stuff, but somehow this is a lot harder than he thought it'd be.

Shit shit shit.

[negative_feedback]

"You... want to have sex with me?" she asks, just to be perfectly clear. She doesn't mean to seem surprised — it's not like she thinks she's ugly, or anything — but it's hard not to when just a second ago she'd thought this conversation was going to go very differently.

[the_trashmouth]

"Yeah," Richie says, but the surprised expression on her face makes him think again that he shouldn't have said anything at all, "But you can forget I said anything. Sorry."

He looks down, back at his geometry book, even if he's definitely not going to be able to focus on studying now.

[negative_feedback]

She blinks a little at the quick way he back pedals, and she realizes that they're totally miscommunicating right now. She winces and takes a breath, then reaches and touches his wrist again.

"I don't want to forget you said anything," she admits. "I want to talk about this. I..." She blushes, just a little, but nods. "I want to have sex with you, too."

[the_trashmouth]

He looks up when Regan touches his wrist and his eyes go wide at what she says, because he was convinced he'd fucked everything up.

"You do?" he asks, and his heart skips a beat because there's a second where he thinks he's read her signs wrong and maybe missed a word or two. "I'd just been thinking about it and if you wanted to, then maybe we... could? But we don't have to."

[negative_feedback]

She nods again, a little relieved to get the confusion out of the way.

"Yeah. But, I mean, not right here," she adds, with a sternness that's only partly playful. She didn't think he meant right then and there. "I kind of want to look some stuff up, first? To make sure it'll be good. And you have to learn how to put a condom on," she continues, and this time the sternness brooks no argument.

[the_trashmouth]

"No, not right here!" Richie says, though it's the first time they've been alone in a long time. But there's no way he's the only one that knows they keep the auditorium door propped open.

Either way, he's definitely not ready right this second. And he's really trying not to freak out.

"And I can figure that out. I'll... have to go buy some."

And right now he's wishing he hadn't spent the last of his pocket money at the arcade a few days ago.

[negative_feedback]

"Okay," Regan says. She takes another breath. "Do you think we should... plan it, somehow?" That never works in the movies, but this isn't the movies, it's real life. Maybe it won't be weird.

[the_trashmouth]

"Um... yeah, probably," he says, because he hadn't actually thought any further than just asking Regan what she thinks about it. It's a little weird, but it makes sense.

"We probably need to find a place."

[negative_feedback]

He's right. She can't exactly suggest the cottage, since Saoirse and Greta both live there, and they'll never get away with it. But Richie's still at the Home, in a room with a bunch of other boys, so they definitely can't do it there.

It would... probably be very weird to suggest asking Jamie if they can borrow his apartment.

"We'll figure that out," she promises.